Dear
It has been too long without hearing from us, sorry this happen because of some few things that the Lord is doing in our lives, and because of some few uncertainty that affect our lives and our stay in South Africa where there was some threats to our lives and we were really looking for what to do or where to go. I (Emmanuel) was really down, to the point of not reasoning correctly and find it very difficult to even focus on what the Lord has call us to do likewise my marriage, everything was going not well. we were in a real bad position, I will not be wrong if I say I (Emmanuel) was getting to the point of depression considering the fact I have been in this journey for about 11 years now and was feeling somehow trapped in South Africa, it became the most difficult moment of my 10 years life, because at this point I can’t do anything about my condition, I had to rely on other people to help me out in almost everything which I hate with all my heart! Also difficult for us to concentrate on the department that we are working with (School of Biblical Studies). I use to find it difficult to even be in the midst of colleagues and students. Thank God for the staff had a lot of grace on us and understood where we’re at that moment.
It was the moment that I began to think that I’m useless because I can’t do anything normal. I found it very difficult to talk to people, interact with people, teach, disciple, pray or even go to the church. Nothing actually was working fine with us
What God is doing in our lives at the moment.
It started when two friends of ours went and met with a man who has experience in mission for decades and has worked with Muslims Converts, I think just to have Idea on how they can advise us to the best of their ability , there were few things that came out of the discussion things we can do practically but one of the most important thing they said He said was “base on my experience with the Muslim convert was fear is the theme with so many of them I don’t know why but that is what Devil is using against them ” this was an eye opener for me it was something that I think I have been living in for the fast 10 years of my life but I have never given it a second thought, I looked back I realize all my life decision after becoming a Christian were based on fear not what God is asking me to do. I think this is a revelation I began to think on the scripture 2 Tim 1:7 for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline NIV
For God did not give us the spirit of fear,” A pusillanimous”, cowardly spirit, so as to be afraid of men or devils, of what they will say or do; and so as to be discouraged in, sink under, or be discourage or restrain from the work of the Lord, the preaching of the Gospel, opposing the lies of Islam and reproving men for their sins, and doing other parts of the ministerial function; such a spirit is not from God, and such a fear brings a snare, this is revelation that God gave me after meditating on this scripture
working in the will of god
I also saw my nakedness on how I have been working as a Christian without seeking direction from God just going the way I think is right or is wise to me, and this is what God showed me Isaiah 55:9 For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof [are] the ways of death.
Reading this broke my heart to see how long I was working in darkness while I have the light at the tip of my fingers I always have the bible I always claim I have been reading it but it took ten years to begin the process of working with God. I always thought I was working for him but what he said to me “Emmanuel I don’t want you to work for me but I want you to work with me” when I realize this I was a bit frustrated with myself because this has taken me 10 to 11 years to learn, but thank God for opening my eyes!
So God in his amazing way revealed himself to us, by letting us to know and to see who He is for us and to us, this is the question he ask me “are you willing to go where I’m going to send you?” of course that was my answer to him “then you must learn to trust me even when the going gets dark!” This is the most wonderful revelation I have ever got for very long time and this is an eye opener for us as a family.
It is wonderful for us to began this new process of making discovery base on what God is leading us to do not what we think is right for us, as a result all the process we stated of following our fears has stopped and we are trying to move forward based upon what God says, not our circumstances.
Thank you for all your continued prayers and support. We truly could not do it without you.
Blessings
Emmanuel & Grace
